Tuesday 5 July 2011

Office Office!


Manager-what the F**k you think you are doing?

Assistant- I am making the presentation sir!

Manager-how stupid you think I am?!

Assistant-????

manager-yeah,you are mostly on Facebook,twitter all day.you could have done all the work in once and in one hour.

Assistant-OK,and then what should I have done?!

Manager-Then you could have asked for more work.you r such an irresponsible person!ppl like you waste the company resources on nothing.you kind are the number one reason for the less productivity of nation.

Assistant-hmmm...so let me get this straight.I should have done the presentation and have come to you for more shitty work?!

Manager(startled over the reaction,took a while to respond) -come again!

Assistant-yeah ...you heard me....you want me to do all your shitty work so that you can take credit for my hard-work?

Manager-what are you saying? I have never done that.

Assistant- O plz...its universal and you are no exception!you also know that high grade work goes to you kinda ppl .who have 'experience'and we are made to sit on the bench and been handed all the crappy work till you go up or other leaves.

Manager-It's not true.you need to have ground experience before you move ahead or start working at top.

Asst-ground exp my foot!The so called 'work'you have given me can be performed by any 12th grade kid.But, you need a polished ,tired donkey to lay ur crappy work on whose only dream to become anything(be entrepreneur,scientist,painter,historian,civil servant etc)shattered the day he signed on employement agreement.

Manager-It's not my fault.Its the way organisation is designed.

Asst-yeah ...yeah....you think i am jack ass and knw nothing?!I havent done mba for nothing.I know the f***ing organisation and way around.

Manager-So ,you must be knowing the rules..the ethics!

Assistant-'ethics ' you must be kidding right?!whats ethical about making money out of needy ones(service industry),exploiting earth.

Manager-This is the way world works.

Asst-ha ha ha...you know I feel there's no difference between you and the politicians.

Manager-Don't abuse me.I am no where near to those criminals.

Assistant-Deny all you want but,the only difference is the degree you manipulate,terrorise,enslave others.They do it in name of power,money,religion,caste...and so do you....may be the later two are not that important but first two are.

Manager-No body else has this 'vision' Mr. Roy.(sarcastically)you should have gone and joined some youth group and marched against all what you don't like.

Assistant-seriously?!you are saying that you never had this feeling when you joined?!but,yes...now you are at the higher rank and hold the power and want to make suffer others ,the way you did!
The only difference between you and me is voice.You thought you, didn't had the voice and get revenge when time comes.I just can't keep my thought entombed in my mind and speak up.

Manager-You are going way beyond your reach Mr. Roy.You can leave if you wish to.

Assistant-yeah,I quit!Best of luck for getting another ass .I knw the position I filled was empty for 3 months.


The manager (Danish)woke up all drenched in sweat....it was so real.....sometimes there seems to be a fine line between reality and dream.

Next morning Danish went to office saw Mr.Roy browsing through sites but didn't interfere..

Danish-Roy have you done the presentation ?

Roy-it will take 5 more min.

Danish-sure ,do it quick...meeting is in 1 hr!




Thursday 14 April 2011

BTM aka Behanji turned Mode(modern)


Me-hey man!check out 'the totta' at 9 O'clock!
Honey-hmmm .....7!
Me-plz you gotta give her atleast 8 and half!
Honey looked her again-hmm chal mandwali....7.75 and that the max.....i think you haven't seen the 10!
Me-whatever man!ohh....wait, i think.... i knw her!
Honey-ha ha...dude its now an old trick.....she sin't gonna believe you are blah blah uncle's son or her frends's brother ...! If you want to talk then,manup! go ask her staright away!
Me-oh no yar!i think she is Lata!
Honey-o puuuhhlease....that aunty!!.....but,now that you said that let me check again....however, its against my ladki patao rule....holyy crap!!!! yess!!!ts Lata but she is looking beautiful!Ithink she is the beautiful twin sis of the ugly chick!
Me-nah....chal we ll place the bet....500 bucks....I say its lata....you says she ain't!
Honey-done!but,how we gonna do it....dude i don't wanna give her the wrong impression that i m even a bit interested in her.
honey-chal phattu!u dnt have guts!

I saw walking past samaira and called her!

Me-hey sam!how are ya babes?where to?
Sam-How many times i told you i hate the name...its reminds me of The F&^king Uncle sam of America!
Me-Don't take a piss dear!just we placed a bet that the girl standing there is lata or not!
Sam-Ahh...you and your dumb bets....which chick you are talking abt?
Me-the one wearing tha blue top standing beside sandeep!
Sam-hmm....oh that bitch!ya she is lata!
Me-why are you abusing her!did she harm ya or did something to you!
Sam-Nah but, i hate such hypocritical bitches!i feel like kicking their arses!
Me-y you are taking it so personally!i m pretty sure she would have done something!
Sam-nah....i knw this crazy bitch...initially when she came to the campus use to wear salwar kurta...and that too full length...now see the halter she is wearing...bitch!
Me-stop swearing!!!she is a human too!!when she would have seen you ppl being all hepp and smart she would have felt the need to be in line!
Sam-huh,in line my foot!earlier...o plz!whenever we asked she would say-i cant go to movies...girl from good homes do not go that time...bf...o god no!my parents would kill me and all that crazy shit!
Me-time changes sam!
Sam-i knw!but they should undrstand it...now when they dnt get a bakra then they come on all these sluty things......earlier she use to be all pooja path....now i bet she would be worshiping Paris Hilton!
Me-ahh....i guess she would have realised that...jo dikhta hai wo bikta hai!
Sam-watever dude!i hate them ....filthy bitch!!!
Me-wat you say honey?wats your stand?
Honey-i dnt care dude....i m gonna ask her out....i like such females......they are like coconuts....sexy....be watever the reason...outside! and homely inside!and i guess most of the Indian males like such Bitches only .After all ,most of the men are BTM as well.(bhaiya turn Michael jakcson)