Harrods and Boxing day sale!

I reached home and saw maya busier than ever...


I asked-hmm...festivity already started...nice....so what you made today?

maya-I already had food!heat the food in microwave ,I am going to sleep!

me-???? what happened?u angry ?(i was anticipating this as i promised her to take to lake district but,in winter every damn place in Uk looks the same...white!cold!dry!)

maya-na!have to get up early!

me-????but,karvachauth was in october!ah....got it!finally you agreed on exercising!

maya-what?no!am i fat?

me-no sweet heart...but,it will keep you fit!(now ,what was i suppose to tell?that i can make tent outa her dress?!)

maya-hmmm...whatever!i have to get up at 2 and be in line!

me-what line?u cant vote here sweet heart...we dnt have UK visa!

maya-o plz!you think i am dumb?!why you think you are the Einstein?!

me-no honey!i never mean that!but,i fail to understand...plz tell me(ofcourse,i never wanted to hear but,do i have any choice after making her angry?!)

maya-i have to stand in Harrod's line.It's their boxing day sale tomorrow!

me-What,harrods?!Are you out of your mind?Its the most expesive shop!You know we are on budget!

maya-o plz!i am nt asking from ya!i have saved up some and gonna buy the LOUIS VUITTON 890 bag and a Gucci watch!

me-ha ha!a bag and a watch?!u should have told me earlier....i freaked out for no reason....i could have bought it without sale!

maya-do u knw what is the cost of those without sale?

me-its a bag and a watch how expensive could it be?!

maya-total would cost you arnd £2000 or more!

me-what?y u r buying then!u can buy atleast 20 bags and 15 watches in that money and y u need them?u already have many!

maya-no!i dnt have any good purse to go in party or nice place!

me-maya u r getting less of an Indian gradually!i ll get you good purses from India!Be Indian buy Indian(i was hoping to emotionally blackmail her and make her nt to do this craziness)

maya-O plz...i dnt wanna have the chinese immitations or the jholas!nt this time...u pull me down always!

me-no dear,i would never do that but,its so chilly outside and train wouldnt be working!

maya-ppl are coming from ouside the country and u r talking abt train!u gonna come with me!

me-me?ahh...even if i come..how u gonna make it to the LV counter...wouldnt it be too crowded if ppl r coming frm outside!

maya-i knw...and i have a plan!I ll reach there by 4 and then the moment shop opens i ll run to the LV counter which is on the left of the no.3 gate!and then i ll move it to the 2nd floor fast and go the far right where gucci watch section is...see i have the map of the harrods and i already visited day before i anyways remeber the layout!and,u thought i was dumb!

me-what i gonna do?!wait ouside?

maya-no silly!u can go buy your MAC book which u wanted !

me-oh..they keep gazets too?They r also on sale?(wow!atleast i would get something outta this excruciation...ah MAC...finally my collection of apple gonna be complete)

maya-ya they have started that but,dnt have much off on that!

me-fine!i ll do it for ya!i ll put the alarm!:)

Reservation... The tale of lost and found opportunity!

I was freakishly trying to look out for ‘Raina’…I looked her in classrooms, corner where we go for ‘sutta’; basically everywhere but ,she was nowhere to found.o boy !this is one stubborn girl whom everyone adores .She was hardworking, witty and outsmart but, what I was going to face today was, altogether a new facet of her.

Me- here u are?! O Man,I was looking for you everywhere!

Raina- Please leave me alone Abhi ,I really in no mood to talk.

Me- Dear don’t worry! I have a news that would sure make you fly on seventh heaven.

Raina-o please! Don’t do that crappy joke again, please leave me alone.

Me-listen first!!!

Raina-I told u .please leave! (Angrily)

She watched Anish walking past him.

Raina- See ..Here goes the monarch king…ripping everyone’s hard work and getting himself what is rightfully someone else.(in a loud tone)

Anish-Hi Raina! How are you? I haven’t seen u from the day JRF(junior research fellowship)result was declared. Hey, you cleared the net (national eligibility test) ,Congrats buddy!

Raina-shut up and leave! I really don’t want to talk to a loser like u.

Anish-what are u talking? What did I do to you?

Me-Don’t bother Anish, she was expecting her name on the JRF list and she didn’t get it. She is little stressed.

Anish- Raina, don’t worry buddy, you will get it next time. Cheer up!!

Raina-o yeh, buddy (angrily)!y don’t u go and console every one who worked hard and didn’t get it except u!

Anish- ?????!!!!

Raina- yeh, you ass hole!!You got that. No, not because you u are so intelligent but, because u from the quota and no one else is!!

Anish- Don’t you go there!

Raina- Oh, now u getting the heat?!Bloody because of ppl like you; deserving candidates die. If Govt. really cared so much they would have given reservation on basis of class not the caste.

Anish- you going in extreme. It’s us who feel the burnt not you. we r being treated so badly.

Raina-o puhlease! its your ancestor who did and I m sorry for them but ,bloody you are nothing like them.you have a rich doctor father and MP(member of parliament) brother. You don’t deserve it.

Anish- You are getting personal. How would you know that?! You stupid!

Raina- o please don’t dare endorse things that, doesn’t make sense like politicians. They bloody reap from general ppl like us for their motives. If Govt. really cared so much they would have given reservation on basis of class not the caste.

Anish- Ya, now it proves how sadist you are by criticising the system. Do what u want but, Baba Ambedkar didn’t add it for no cause.

Raina- ha ha…you don’t even know the difference between politician and leaders. Baba Ambedkar made the reservation temporary and to bridge the gap .Its these politician who are increasing it by trying to make it permanent. Top of it, guys like you who wants it permanent because you are now use to the pity that you get from ppl.

Anish- Dare u say anything .you bitch!!we are more competent than you all.

Raina-I know truth hurts. Now I know how doctors of AIIMS would be feeling.I can understand the politician as they are the creeps who would do anything for their interest but ,you ppl are worse.If,you think u r so competent then, why the hell you accept the seats even if qualifying scores are so less for you.

Anish- One word and I will slap u so hard that your coming generation wouldn’t be able to speak.

Raina- o yeh,you ass hole?!u know what,its catch 22 situation for you. If you will slap me you will loose and if I slap u then again u loose. you freaking bastard!

Anish- I will see to it later. You cant do anything to me bitch!

Me-Please guys !!Don’t make fuss out of it. Whole college is having fun … please I beg you both,stop it !

I stepped to hold the fierce Raina but, before I could do it…

Chattttakkk!!!

The whole corridor was stunned by the sound of slap that Raina placed on Anish’s cheek.

Now , everyone tried to hold both the party so that the matter doesn’t go bad.

Me-Raina, what r u doing ?I knew you were upset but did you really wanted to create such a fuss?I don’t know If the situation is right or not but ,I came to tell you that your waiting list in IAS(Indian Administrative services) is cleared because of the women’s reservation bill.

Raina- ????....yeyyyyyyyyyyyyy…..hey looser (to Anish) I got into IAS. Now, you can suck your JRF .

Anish- I know that , you bloody bitch and I also know that you got it because of the bill that passed in favour of women. Now, what u say about that, huh?!

Raina- I don’t care because of what bill .I got it and that’s what I care, you looser! It’s my time now.

Later that day I was smoking and thinking ….what was it and had I done it differently?!I think its nothing to do about the reservation and thinking about the suffering of people but about the missed and gained opportunity.

Stalker...oh dear angel...y not me!!!!

Oh boy...It been a long time since I was in this bottle….thanx gal u freed me!!

Neena-????!!!!!!

Genie-o silly girl, I am a genie of this bottle and you freed me.

Neena- Am I dreaming? Is it any kind of joke? I m already bugged to the core...Don’t push me to the edge!

Genie-as you say but, I know I can assure you...you are not dreaming…let me pinch you!!

Neena-ouch! It hurts. O yes! It’s not a dream. Buttt…Buttt..But…are genies real…aren’t they suppose to be in fairy tales?

Genie-you can find god if you want to! I am a simple genie dear! What year it is???Where am I?

Neena-oh...it 2010 and you are on earth!!!

Genie-hmm...plz give me a moment to update myself…. (Sat in rishi muni style and started chanting)

After 10 min….

Genie- yes, tell me neena what’s up???

Neena- how do you know my name and you speak English?

Genie-silly gal, I can speak any language. After all, I am a genie!Now, as u freed me, it’s my duty to fulfil your one wish.

Neena-only one (sad)!!

Genie-what you expect in this century…there is inflation in everything and you know the supply demand theory right!!!I am granting you one wish, take it or leave it; and yes, you can’t get more wishes out of it! Don’t think I am as stupid as my predecessors. I am updated version genie 9.09 so, don’t you u get smart with me!

Neena-Can you please let me think?! I will take a while.

Brooding and strolling …

Neena-would be my stalker?

Genie-you are a strange lady. Y you want me to be your stalker? You can ask for anything in this world.

Neena-I know but, this is one thing I been wanting for a while and other things, I will earn myself.This is the only thing I can’t earn!!!

Genie-But, y you want me to be your stalker? Y you want a stalker at first place?

Neena-I know you must be thinking what in the world I m saying but, you see stalker are the prettiest of all kind of species in human. He is like the `Menaka’ who is God sent to save God from the `Vishwamitra’. ..Does things, takes blame and leaves without a trace. Now modern example, Raina was hardly a creeping worm in the class but, now she is the biggest celebrity in the college. She was not even the miss fresher coz it was Nishi and neither had she topped the class like me but, no one seems to care. Y would? She got a stalker in her kitty and made her the most popular freshie in the campus. Everyone talks about her and take her in new perspective. As if, all of a sudden ‘Rakhi’ started ‘Swayambar’.

Genie-I see but, then y don’t you want to be more beautiful so that, everyone would talk about you.

Neena- I want 2 be myself and to be talk of the town. I am not ashamed of my self! I just don’t know what she has and I don’t? Having a stalker, really boost your confidence and ego you know!!

Genie-hmm…strange but seems you have IC (identity crisis) .Have u considered a psychiatrist?

Neena-you are not supposed to mock me ok! You need a little more perspective dude. You are upgraded version but , still seem to have developing brain and heart!!

Genie-you don’t have to be demeaning me. It’s your stupid idea of having stalker as a panacea!

Neena- Panacea?!Ya! I think he is ….every problem that I m having can be solved by this angel.

Genie- Angel?! he he…seriously u seems from different world!

Neena-you are really like others and only see the flip side of such an amazing gift!! Let me tell u that there are more upsides of having a stalker.

Genie-how?

Neena- dude! There are end no. of advantages of having a stalker. It goes as follow

Generic-

1. It would give more business telephone companies.

2. Again, gives more business to flower and card companies(I strongly think ,they should give discounts to such ppl)

3. Our dear police would have something light to do. It would be kind of brisk walking for them before the actual exercise.

Personal-

1. It would make me feel important and wanted hence, make me more confident.

2. It would make me famous and everyone but everyone would talk about me.

3. My boy friend would love me more and would care about me more.

4. Both my working parents, would take time for me and they will realise how precious I m for them.

5. I will get more attention, money and other commodities from my parents than my siblings.

6. in case I m alone, I would be safe as I would know someone is watching me.

7. I will get a friend who cares all about me.

8. I would focus more on studies at the spotlight would be on me.

Genie- what about the poor guy from whom u would be extracting such amount of profit. He will be doomed.

Neena- Dude, I respect them but, aren’t they suppose to be like catalyst that accelerate the reaction but do not actually take part in it? Have you ever heard of a gal falling for a stalker? So?! May their soul rest in peace but, what can I do about them.

Genie-you r so stupid!

Neena- I didn’t ask for your opinion. I asked u to be my stalker and, if you can’t do that then simply grant me one and leave.

Genie-ok I m leaving but, without granting your wish.you wrongly perceived me dear.i m more humane than you .I can’t make that poor stalker be a guinea pig.

Neena- O please... He is the only hope. Please...I am sorry….I didn’t mean that.

Genie-The damage is done and in this democratic country I am free and not your slave. It’s my wish to not grant u your wish.bbye….take care

Neena- o please genie...please I beg u …please…grant me this one ….please…

Oh he is gone (disbelief)…o god!!!!(Looking at sky) Please ask genie to grant me the stalker!

Oh Stalker…the God sent why not me!!!

Chalti bus aur ladki!!!!

Y? Y this to me God? Y me? Y everything bad has to happen to me and not someone else? y I have to be victim?? That’s it!! I think U r not there! There is nothing like God in this world! I will become atheist now…Y I am always a looser?!What’s wrong with me?!She ditched me…she said ‘dear Ravi…I never thought in that way…u r a good friend! A friend, my foot!! I did all those things for a friend?! Carried her stone age’s laptop every time, we went for a classes. I copied every notes. Many a time I gave less importance to my presentation but, made the best presentation for her always…went with her stupid friends for SHOPPING!!

She just walked out of ‘this’ as if it meant nothing to her. So, what was that?!(All the laughter on my stupid jokes?! …always stretching my cheeks and saying ‘u r so cute’!!)Friend eh?!I bet she got someone better than me but, at least she should have told me! Kausal rightly said last night ‘all females are alike dost! All bitches, I tell u. Please don’t feel bad;ek jati hai ,doosri ati hai…..dost ek baat sun ‘kabhi bhi chalti bus aur ladki k peeche mat bhagio! How right, he is?! He is my best friend in this world. I left him for Surabhi and, see the destiny, she left me for someone!!!

Suddenly, my monologue in my mind took a break (dude …solid disc break .. you know !).There entered a gal in that over crowded bus but, her floral scent made a stronger presence in that crowd! Oh, how cute she was!!! She must be 5’2 inch but she had amazing sparkling eyes!
She was crawling towards the centre of the bus. I wished, if she knew I want to see and know her more. O god! She stood next to me! I knew, girls have strong sixth sense but, this strong?! Now I cant even look at her; she was so close .My heart was pounding at a speed of the fastest train in the world.’ Would you please, get up! ‘It’s a ladies seat’ she said to me. I felt so ashamed ….I got up grinning and gave her seat (not because she deserved that but, because I felt she would be tired standing .And, what is anyways about reservation for females if they want equality??!!!)Giving seat proved to be a blessing in disguise only as, I can give a good look at her and she won’t even notice!!GOD! Sorry for the last time. You are there! Thank you God…Thank you!

Next day, I was waiting for her but, I knew she won’t come until the third stop from where the bus starts. I was desperately looking for her in the bus when the’ Connaught place’ stand came. Oh! she didn’t came…may be that’s the only time I saw her…now I wouldn’t be seeing her anymore. I think, one day bond was that strong that I dreamt last night about her and dreamt talking to her. My heart was sinking…but, again God made me feel his presence! She stepped up in the bus…oh! What a beauty she is? I automatically got up from my seat to make a room for her (today I couldn’t sit on the ladies side because they got filled by aunties..eh ! on the first stop but, got a seat on normal unreserved seat) she smiled! I made contact with her eyes for the first time…oh!!I was feeling so light as if I was flying in the air!!It became my daily routine to take the same bus (as if I had any option!) and give her my seat at the third bus stop!!Now the pinch of coming this far and teaching physics was lessening and rather becoming a boon!

It been almost a week and couldn’t talk to her yet!
I asked -Kausal ‘what to do yar! She is the most awesome gal I have ever met .But ,I don’t have guts to talk !she passed a smile and there I am dead! Man, who says u have to be rocket scientist to make lethal weapon?! You can do it simply by smiling !!dude !help me!

Kausal-Oye majnu ki chatti aulad!fir aa gaya in chakkaro mein?!samjhaya hai na ladki…aur..bus…

Me- han bas bas! Samajh aa gaya…ab bataega ya ya nahi?!

Kausal- Ok! Yeh bata problem kya hai?!

Me- abe himmat hi nahi padti!watt lagti hai kuch bolu sochke hi!

Kausal-abe dekh! Simple hai…tu agar darr gaya na dude,to samajh mar gaya!!Abe dekh ,kuch bhi hogi hoor bhi to, tu langur to hai nahi…sale!!DCE mein padh raha hai dimag to hai ,prove ho gaya! Height bhi bhagwan ne theek thak de di hai…rang thoda kam hai but, dude..soch teeno mila k kya hua!

Me- kya hua????

Kausal- sale isi wajah se tera ye haal hai! Abe teeno mila k TDH hua na and gals dig these guys!Ab apni ijjat tere haath hai..ye nahi karega to kab karega jab wo shadi shuda ho jaegi tab.Dost himmat laga aur bol daal!

Me- Propose nahi karna hai! Sirf baat karni hai!

Kausal- abe wahi!!!ja mere sher …maidan mein jeet kar aio !!

This conversation made me fully confident and next Monday God also helped me !There got a seat vacant, next to me at the third stop only.she entered in the bus and she herself sat next to me.wow, thank u God!!

Me- This bus is always crowded but, today its nt that full isn’t it?!

Her- what?!

Me-………

Her- o yes!! Today is a gazetted holiday may be that’s y!

Me- I suppose you are a student…

Her- nah!i work in admin dept of ABC company.

Me-Oh!thats gr8.…I have heard ..good company.

Her-O really!i never heard before I joined it already!

Me-ok! so you working for how long in here?

Her-hmm… for almost 1 year now..i m really pissed off with the company…and..now recession cant really jump the company .

Me-ya that’s too sad! I am in DCE but, very few companies are coming with a good package for placement this year. i hope next year the scenario will change or else I will be doomed(grin).

Her- o wow! You from Delhi College of Engineering?, that’s awesome college in delhi! you would be very intelligent na?!My lill bro tried this year but, couldn’t get through.He will give a last shot next year! By the way my name is Kavita !what about u?

Me- I am ravi !

Then we talked for almost till her stop came.
The talk continued for a fortnight! Those were the best days of my life.

I thought, today I will ask her out. So what, if she is couple year elder than me …everything is fair in love and war! Love ?! Yes, I think I love her. How innocent she is! How cute! Tomorrow is Friday and then she would have Saturday off !what a nice day to ask her out?!

Damn, these kids! They ask so many questions ….I don’t want to be late for the bus…I have to ask her out today! Oh God! Please don’t make me miss my bus…plz plz plz!! But, when I reached the stop. I saw the bus started to roll already…oh no!

I don’t know what got into my head and I started running after the bus ,hoping it would stop ,looking at his regular customer. Damn bus! Didn’t stop and I hurt my elbow (as I slipped on the water logged road).

Somehow I reached hostel and got my self a cast on hand. Doctor said it was a hair line fracture and this cast would go off in a month (provided I take care).I was thinking’ this pain of hurt elbow is more or not asking kavita out is more’ !I think I miss kavita now and, not asking her out and not meeting her for two days made me go through fire of agony and pain and that can only be healed when I will meet kavita on Monday!

On serious note when I saw kavita on Monday , my half of the pain was gone. i got up from my seat again but, she said I was hurt so I should sit and anyways she has to get down after two stops today .I asked the occasion and she replied `I have to buy gift for my friend as its his birthday tomorrow’. Can I come with you?! I said! But, you are hurt Ravi and I just have to buy a gift !kavita replied! I ll help you in choosing gift – I said (wow ,what an idea sirji! I would have a casual date with her this way)
We got down at ‘Janpath ‘ .

Me- so what kind of gift u want to buy

Kavita-I don’t know?!I have never gifted anything to a guy so, I don’t know!

Me-ok!!!so what’s your budget?

Kavita-hmm..i don’t know …5000!

Me- 5000?! Is he someone special?!(God ,please say no!)

Kavita- yes(shy),he is my BF!

Me- BF?!

Kavita-yes !he is my colleague in the office and he proposed to me the day u didn’t come. I so wanted to tell you that day!

Me- uh? Hmmm!!! Ok

Kavita- what happened?! you ok ?Is your hand hurting much?!

Me-yeah! I am sorry but, I think I have to go to doctor now !Its hurting too much!!You will be ok?!

Kavita- O please! go ahead,I was anyways coming alone .Take care!

And I reached to an auto.

Autowalla asked me 90 rs for my hostel .It was exorbitant and I would have given this bastard a good lesson if my hand and my heart was not broken today. I agreed and sat in that!

Y? Y this to me God? Y me? Y everything bad has to happen to me and not someone else? y I have to be a victim??!!! That’s it!! I think U r not there! There is nothing like God in this world!

Now ,Kausal’s voice is echoing in my head ‘ chalti bus aur ladki k peeche mat bhagio kabhi ‘!

How beneficial is the Panic button for social networks

In the recent news ,UK authorities are pressurising social networking sites to install a 'panic button'for the safety of millions of users,following the death of a teenage girll by the hand of a guy who met her on popular networking site.

There has been increased pressure from child exploitation and online protection(CEOP) and child-protection services on social network to adopt the button following the high-profile jailing earlier this week of a known sex offender who raped and murdered a 17 year old girl after meeting her online.

British child protection authorities are lobbying facebook and other social networking sites to install a one click button which would allow people specially teenagers to get immediate police help if they suspect they are at risk.

The button sits within social network pages and allows users to click through to the CEOP website where they can find out information about online abusr and report incidents to the police.

But,till date only MSN and bebo have signed up among the major sites for such for such schemes.

Facebook said that while it believes the CEOP button is an 'excellent' tool for sites that have not invested in safety technologies,Facebook's existing reporting tools and services are as strong.

facebook said that the safety of their users are their top priority.It has reporting buttons on every page and continue to invest heavily in creating the most robust reporting system to support their 400 million users.It also said that,it works closely with the police forces and have trained staff on two contingents giving 24 hr support in 70 languages.

On the other hand;Jim Gample,CEO of the CEOP Centre and lead for the protecting children on the internet on behalf of the association of the police officers(ACPO),said,'We received 267 reports about activity on facebook during 2009,of which 43% were cases of suspected grooming,'he said.'However,81%were made by the people having to go to other sites to make the report.That can't be right.'

But,what I fail to understand with this hue and cry is-'really this thing going to work?'.The practicality of such system is doubtful.After installing such system also,users have to rely on the execution of punishment to the authorities only.And,in case of the extreme affair how useful this CEOP going to work?I doubt even if,the CEOP was in place of the event that occurred in Britain ,the ghastly incident could have been stopped.I feel the necessity of creating the system is as important as executing them.